I shouldn’t have to really mention this, but it is perfectly ok to spend good money on excellent bed linen. I get it – for some people, bed is bed. It’s functional, it serves a purpose, there is no need to go beyond the basic. But for me, there is something delightful about having excellent bed sheets. After all, we spend so much time in bed, why not make it a wonderful experience? When I lived overseas, I had very little choice about where I lived and the facilities of my house. I often had to share with people (colleagues) that I would perhaps not have chosen to work and live with, and I lived with colleagues who became close friends. I mostly slept on a thin foam mattress; sometimes I was lucky to have a wooden bed frame. In some cases it was a mattress directly on the floor. Many an hour was spent trying to get the mosquito net positioned perfectly – sometimes I was successful, other times I failed dismally. I especially did not enjoy that whine in the ear, it’s ability to waken you from the deepest of sleeps. The tang of mosquito spray, the sting of DEET which made your lips go a bit numb if you were careless enough not to wash hands. I still remember the joy of waking up in a sweaty Dar es Salaam with more than ten bites on my face – spending the day explaining to colleagues that these were not spots. Sheets on those donut beds were usually polyester, polyester blend if lucky – the antithesis of comfort on a hot night. Pillows filled with foam chips.
When I came back to the UK having been away for a while, I remember the moment exactly that I sought out and purchased a luxurious set of matching bed linen. Sateen 100% cotton, fitted sheet and duvet pillow combo. They cost me the equivalent of what I had been earning in a month overseas. The first time I slept in them I was hooked. It would be a few more years before I moved back to the UK permanently; luggage allowances meant that heavy cotton sheets were not priortised. The sheets waited patiently for me, vacuum packed in my parents house ready for when I would have my own bed again.
Since then I have bought several new sets of bedlinen, and I realised that almost every time I felt guilty. Guilty for spending the money on a luxurious thing for me. Feeling the conflict of old life and new life. But really, it’s not about the sheets. It’s not about excess or following the trend or spending money you don’t have and getting into consumerist debt. It’s about feeling comfortable with spending money you have on you. Feelings about money and how it should or should not be used can run deep and are often connected to our formative years. Some people realise that they have a very critical inner voice when it comes to money. Some of these thoughts might end up holding you back when it comes to achieving your goals. Applying principles of self-care and tapping into self-compassion is key to dissolving these limiting beliefs. So the next time you hesitate before spending money on you, just take a moment to reflect on that critical voice – telling it to jog on can be a remarkably effective way to reduce anxiety and increase self-compassion. And remember, it’s perfectly ok to spend good money on excellent bedlinen.
